It can be awkward and scary to do, but talking to a partner about how you\’re feeling about your relationship is the only way to work through whatever you\’re dealing with. Here\’s a couple of tips to help you to have that convo:
- Try to focus on your own feelings and not blame them. Using \’I\’ instead of \’you\’ can help to make it feel like you\’re owning your statements, and not attacking them.
- Listen to what your partner is saying. Relationships are about working together. They\’ve got their own perspective on things, and you\’re going to need to understand them as you expect them to understand yours.
- If you feel like things are getting a bit heated or emotion, try taking a timeout and coming back to things later.
Maybe you feel like you’ve become different people since getting together. There’s nothing wrong with that: people change. It can be hard though, for a relationship to keep up with the change – especially if you haven’t had a chance to talk about what’s happening.
Maybe you feel like you aren’t spending enough time together, or that when you do, it’s just not relaxed or fun.
Or maybe you’re just not sure. Maybe you can’t figure it out – all you know is that you used to like being in this relationship, and now you don’t know.
Sometimes, the best way to figure out why you’re not happy in a relationship is to think about what you want. It means taking some time to really talk to yourself, and understand why you’re feeling the way you’re feeling.
You might like to ask yourself a few questions, like:
- When did I start feeling this way?
- Are there times when I feel more like this? Or less?
- What would make me feel happier?
It’s not always that easy to work this stuff out – but trying to make some progress can be really useful when it comes to talking to your partner about what’s going on.
There can be a bit of temptation in relationships to just expect them to get it. After all, if they’re with you, they should already know how you feel, right? And if they don’t, they need to learn. Right?
No matter how much we think someone should know what we\’re thinking – they won\’t until we tell them.
And of course, if you need a confidential space to talk through, want to consider a different perspective or develop your communication skills, either by yourself or with your partner, we are here to support you.