Celebrating Difference: Working with Intercultural Relationships

As a relationship therapist, ‘conflict’ and ‘communication’ are words I often hear. Most clients I see come for two reasons – they recognise that something in the relationship isn’t working – and they want change, explains Relate therapist, Sandhya Bhattacharya. Differences (and negotiating them!) are key to any relationship. If partners are from different cultures, there can be an added layer of complexity involved in building mutual understanding.

Our tips for navigating intercultural relationships:

  1. Understanding your partner and your relationship is a process; take the time to actively listen to each other.
  1. Listening does not mean agreement, but it does acknowledge that your partner holds a different – and valid – perspective.
  1. We all battle conscious and unconscious biases which will emerge in cross-cultural relationships. Acknowledging bias is the first step towards building mutual understanding and respect.
  1. You and your partner will hold different values but framing these differences as ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ won’t encourage a partnership. Exploring these values from a place of curiosity allows us to understand what these differences mean to us, so that we can work together in negotiating them.
  1. Finally, remember that the couple is the expert on their relationship. Family and friends may ‘know’ them well, but each relationship is unique to its partners, and needs its own space to be nurtured.

 

Read the full interview with Sanhya – click here